Sapphire Deranged
by Cati334455
Summary: A team of ordinary Pokemon and their insane trainer are set off on an crazy journey by a teleporting Beedrill. (My first here)


Sapphire Deranged  
  
This is my first fic here ever. Be nice pleeeeaaseeeee. I was bored and every channel on TV showed the same boring financial advisor electing show. So I wrote this. The Pokemon starred in this story are in my Sapphire version team.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon. I would have owned the plot, if it were a good one. But it isn't, so IT'S NOT MINE! Umm... hehehe...  
  
Cast:  
  
Storm~ A relaxed and wisecracking Blaziken. He's the starter and thinks he is important.  
  
Glacier~ A Delcatty who hates disorder and can never take a joke.   
  
Cascade~ The ever-happy Pelipper who acts half his age. Thinks Marsh is his friend.  
  
Marsh~ A Beautifly who is ungrateful and thinks the others are losers.   
  
Soulbound~ A showy and unintentionally cross-dressing Gardevoir.  
  
Zephyr~ An Absol that hates work of any kind but is very friendly nonetheless.  
  
Cati~ Their insane trainer who gets frustrated easily.  
  
*****  
  
(The Pokemon are lazing around in Cati's room. Cati bursts through the door looking angry)  
  
Cati: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! THOSE BROADCASTERS WON'T SHOW ANYTHING BUT THE FINANCIAL ADVISOR ELECTION THINGY!  
  
Zephyr: Zzzzz...  
  
Storm: Zzzz...  
  
Glacier: Zzzzz...  
  
Soulbound: Do you think this dress looks good on me?  
  
Cati: ARE YOU LISTENI- CASCADE! PUT THOSE DOWN!  
  
Cascade: (eating peppercorns) Huh?  
  
Marsh: Keep eating.  
  
Cati: MARSH DON'T PICK ON CASCADE!  
  
Marsh: I'm NOT picking on him! (Drops 'Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix' on Cascade from the top bookshelf)  
  
Cascade: OW! (faints)  
  
Cati: ...ARE YOU LISTENING?   
  
Glacier: (snaps awake) Yes?  
  
Marsh: (Drops a rock on Glacier) Oops...  
  
Glacier: OW! (faints)  
  
Cati: NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID! NOW I HAVE TO WALK ALL THE WAY TO THE POKEMON CENTER! IN THE RAIN!  
  
Storm: (wakes up) I didn't know it was raining.  
  
Marsh: That shows how much you know.  
  
Cati: I WROTE THIS, AND I SAY IT'S RAINING!  
  
Cascade: (magically revived) Its raining, its pouring, the Snorlax is snor- Marsh sing with me! ^^  
  
Marsh: NO! Why can't it be sunny?  
  
Cati: Because that would make you happy.  
  
Marsh: So?  
  
All: . . .  
  
Storm: If you were happy, everyone else in the world wouldn't.  
  
Zephyr: (yawn) Wazzap?  
  
All: ... (silence)  
  
Soulbound: HEY! There's a Beedrill in this pocket!   
  
Cati: Right. How the heck would I fit a Beedrill into my fifth grade uniform pocket?  
  
Soulbound: Because you're the au- this is fifth grade uniform?   
  
Beedrill: (emerges from uniform)  
  
(Freeze frame: Everyone standing still until lighting flashes and...)  
  
All: AAAAAGGGHHHH!!!  
  
Chaos: (happens)  
  
Cati: (hanging off light fixture) Waita sec. Why are we running? I have Pokemon who can fry that Beedrill.  
  
Storm: YAAAAAAAAAAH!   
  
(Wild BEEDRILL came out of uniform pocket!)  
  
Pokemon: ...  
  
(Go Zephyr!)  
  
Zephyr: I can't believe you would say something like that Cati! Be ashamed.  
  
Cati: I am. NOW GET YOUR LAZY SELF OUT THERE!  
  
Zephyr: That's more like it.  
  
(Zephyr used Ice Beam!)  
  
Beedrill: (runs around screaming like a kid)  
  
All: ...  
  
Beedrill: (stops suddenly) Alright, now get ready to taste my-  
  
(Beedrill used Harden!)  
  
(Beedrill's attack missed!)  
  
Zephyr: What the-  
  
Marsh: That isn't even possible!   
  
Soulbound: It's 'failed' not 'missed'.  
  
Cati: I just like picking evolutions of those wormy Pokemon. They look funny.  
  
Marsh: I DEMMAND RESPECT!  
  
Glacier: (Thunderbolts Marsh) THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR THROWING A ROCK AT ME!  
  
Beedrill: (gets ready again) (murderous glare)  
  
Storm: Uhh...  
  
Beedrill: (Raises needle things)  
  
Storm: ...  
  
Cascade: Marsh didn't mean to hurt me, right? ^______^  
  
Marsh: Yes I did.  
  
Cascade: See? She said 'yes'.  
  
Beedrill: (needles glow)  
  
Storm: GUYS!?!  
  
Zephyr: And girls.  
  
Marsh: SEE? YOU DON'T RESPECT ME!  
  
(Beedrill used teleport!)  
  
(Scenery changes to... lets say Fallarbor Town.)  
  
Glacier: Why Fallarbor?  
  
Cati: I LIKE Fallarbor. And there isn't a gym so I don't have to do human dialogue.  
  
Pokemon: ...  
  
Cati: Forget it.  
  
(Meanwhile, in the depths of the mind of our favorite psychotic butterfly, we have a startling realization.)  
  
Marsh: The Beedrill teleported us to Fallarbor.  
  
Cati: So?  
  
Marsh: One, Beedrills don't learn teleport. Two, teleport transports THE USER.  
  
Cati: So?  
  
Marsh: Auuugghh... (flies away)  
  
(Time passes. Its... in the evening.)  
  
Marsh: I'll get a new trainer. Cati will regret that.  
  
Stupid trainer: (emerges from bushes)  
  
Stupid trainer's POV: (Wild female butterfly Pokemon appeared!)  
  
Stupid trainer: WOW! (throws Pokeball)  
  
Marsh: AHA!  
  
Stupid trainer's POV: (You captured... that butterfly!)  
  
(Later...)  
  
(Stupid trainer has a Metapod and a Rattata.)  
  
Marsh: So... how's life?  
  
Metapod: What do you mean by 'life'?  
  
Marsh: Ho boy... I wonder if I should be worrying about Cati and the others... They must be worried or something...  
  
(Cati and co in their secret base)  
  
Cati: SOULBOUND! USE PSYCHIC!  
  
Souldbound: (defeats a... level 2 Spinda.) I'M KING OF THE WORLD!  
  
Glacier: I feel something is missing...  
  
Storm: You're right! We forgot the pizza! (pizza magically appears on table) Is everyone here?  
  
Cascade: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Lets see. Trainers can only have six Pokemon so everyone is here ^^   
  
Cati: I have taught you well.  
  
(Back to Marsh)  
  
Marsh: Maybe not.  
  
Stupid Trainer's Rattata: Our trainer is going to challenge the Rustboro City gym leader!  
  
Marsh: Fallarbor isn't even NEAR Rustboro!   
  
Metapod: We know. But since any gym leader would clobber us, don't tell our trainer.  
  
Marsh: AND THAT ISN'T A TRAINER! IT'S A LIVING ROCK WEARING CLOTHES!  
  
Stupid trainer: I'm hungry. I have no food.  
  
Metapod: Eat this insolent bug!  
  
Marsh: I am NOT an insolent bug you uh... insolent bug!  
  
Stupid Trainer: (looks at Marsh hungrily)  
  
Marsh: 0_0 EEEP!  
  
(Meanwhile...)  
  
Cascade: Marsh is gone.  
  
All: Huh?  
  
Cati: Oh... darn... I guess we better look for her?  
  
Storm: Nah, lets leave-  
  
Cascade: LETS GO FIND MARSH!   
  
(They set off. Three minutes later...)  
  
Soulbound: I think I see Marsh.  
  
Stupid Trainer: OW! GET OUT OF MY HAIR!  
  
Marsh: 0_0 No!  
  
Soulbound: I think that's her.  
  
Zephyr: So what do we do now?  
  
Soulbound: I dunno. Cati, what do we do?  
  
Cati: Go get him.  
  
Storm: Okay. How?  
  
Cati: I guess you can go rip him off the trainer's head.  
  
Zephyr: Is that a strenuous activity? My doctor says I can't do those.  
  
Cati: You don't have a doc- I'll just go get her myself. (gets out Pokeballs)  
  
All [other than Glacier]: NOOOOO!  
  
Souldbound: Goodbye, cruel, harsh world!  
  
Storm: I'll go get him! I'll be good! PLEEEEEAASEE...  
  
Zephyr: At least grant me my last request and give me a pillow!  
  
Glacier: Actually, a Premier ball is pretty good.  
  
Cati: (insane laughter) MUAHAHAH! (throws Pokeballs)  
  
Pokemon: (vanish into Pokeballs)  
  
Cati's Pokemon: ...  
  
Cati: Ehehe... (lets random wild Pokemon out of Pokeballs) Return.  
  
(Cati's Pokemon return)  
  
Stupid Trainer: OW! STOP PULLING MY HAIR!  
  
Cati: ...  
  
Marsh: CATI! I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER COME! (flies over to Cati, covered in ST's hair)  
  
Stupid Trainer: Are you going to eat that?  
  
Cati: (funny look) No way, its covered in YOUR hair.  
  
Stupid Trainer: What's wrong with my hair?  
  
Cati: Everything.  
  
Stupid Trainer: Oh.  
  
(Cati and Marsh walk off and Cati returns Marsh)  
  
Cati: We need a change of scenery. But we don't have a Beedrill!  
  
Glacier: (inside Pokeball) Use fly, you idiot.  
  
Cati: I can't fly!  
  
Glacier: Use your Pelipper.  
  
Cati: How in the world am I supposed to ride on him?  
  
Glacier: You can Surf on a Tentacool and Fly on a Pidgey and that doesn't bother anyone. And you writing about a Beedrill with teleport isn't too realistic either.  
  
Cati: I wrote about a Beedrill with teleport?  
  
Glacier: MAKE THE FREAKING PELIPPER USE FLY!  
  
(Cascade used FLY!)  
  
Cati: Where?  
  
Pokemon: (anime sweatdrop)  
  
Cati: FLY TO... MAUVILLE!  
  
Cascade: (weird Pelipper battle cry that sounds like quacking)  
  
(They reach Mauville in a few seconds. Not because they're fast, its how the game works)  
  
(At Mauville...)  
  
Cati and co: (fall out of sky and land on top of Game Corner. Things such as Pokeballs, pencils and a bike go flying out of Cati's bag.)  
  
Cati: I want to get a new bike.  
  
Zephyr: There's nothing wrong with the one you have already.  
  
Cati's Acro Bike: (looks like scrap metal)  
  
Storm: Looks fine to me.  
  
Marsh: I CAN'T BE SEEN ON THAT!  
  
Cati: I want to try the Mach Bike again. It's faster. I remember the last time I used it...  
  
Glacier: The one you used at the Sky Pillar to fall down all the holes?  
  
Cati: Yeah.  
  
(Flashback: Cati and co see the door to Rayquaza.)  
  
Cati: This is it! Do we have our Ultra Balls, Timer Balls and Pokeballs?  
  
Cascade: Yea! All we have to do is go down one floor to get them ^^  
  
Cati: WHAT!?!?!? I KNEW MY BAG FELT LIGHTER! Not that I'm complaining.  
  
Floor: Ccrrrrraaaackkk.  
  
All: 0_0'''' AAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!! (fall through crack four floors)  
  
Bike: (collapses into a heap shaped like a Diglett)  
  
Cascade: Now we go up three floors ^________________^  
  
(End Flashback)  
  
Souldbound: Rayquaza wasn't even worth it. You don't use him.  
  
Cati: Neither was Kyogre, and he's hogging the Master Ball.  
  
(In Box 12)  
  
Kyogre: Ha ha ha... all you lowly water Pokemon are POKEballs I am in a MASTER BALL!  
  
Water Pokemon: (tribal chanting)  
  
Kyogre: Stop it.  
  
Water Pokemon: (tribal chanting)  
  
Kyogre: You can stop now...  
  
Water Pokemon: Sacrifice to great Poke God! (aim attacks)  
  
Kyogre: 0_o AAAGGGHH! (surfs away)  
  
(Back to Cati and co.)  
  
(SUDDENLY...)  
  
All: YAAAAAH! (fall off the roof, crushing an innocent passerby who was coming out of the Game Corner.)  
  
Passerby: (drops coins)  
  
Cascade and Marsh: (flying)  
  
Marsh: (scrabbles around collecting coins)  
  
Other Pokemon: @_@ Owww...  
  
Marsh: BOW DOWN TO ME MORTALS!   
  
Zephyr: Oh yeah?  
  
Marsh: YEAH!  
  
(Zephyr used FIRE BLAST!)  
  
Marsh: EeeeRRRrrGGGhh... (falls onto ground, dropping coins)  
  
Cascade: Ooh... Cati, Marsh, look! Shiny circular things! (eats them)  
  
Cati: (miraculously unscathed, jumps up) To the bike shop! (runs off)  
  
Pokemon: Nooottt nooww...  
  
Cascade: Cati! Wait!  
  
Cati: (looks back) Huh? (slams into inconveniently placed brick wall)  
  
Pokemon: ...  
  
Cati: X_X  
  
Soulbound: We mourn for our trainer. I GET HER CLOTHES!  
  
Marsh: I GET HER ROOM!  
  
Storm: I GET THE GAMEBOY!  
  
Glacier: That isn't fair.  
  
Storm: I'm the starter!  
  
Glacier: I'm the favorite!  
  
(They argue)  
  
Zephyr: I'll take the bed.  
  
Marsh: BUT THAT'S IN THE ROOM! AND THE ROOM IS MINE!  
  
Cascade: I'll take all the toys ^^  
  
Soulbound: The clothes are still mine. I'll take the money too.  
  
Marsh: ALL THAT STUFF IS IN MY ROOM! AND I WANT THE MONEY!  
  
Zephyr: I'll also take the computer!  
  
Marsh: BUT-  
  
Zephyr: EAT SMOKE, COMMON HOUSEHOLD PEST! (Fire Blasts Marsh)  
  
Storm: THE GAMEBOY IS MINE! SHE WOULD HAVE GIVEN IT TO ME!  
  
Cascade: But I would get the Sapphire game!  
  
Glacier: NO SHE WOULDN'T!  
  
Marsh: (getting up) I STILL GET THE (cough) ROOM!  
  
Cati: (gets up still unharmed) I'M OKAY!  
  
Pokemon: D'oh.  
  
Cati: Huh?  
  
Pokemon: (innocent looks) Nothing!  
  
Cati: Okay. Now where was I... right! TO THE BIKE STORE! (slams into wall again)  
  
Pokemon: ...  
  
Glacier: I GET THE ROOM AND GAMEBOY!  
  
Storm: Forget it. Just give me the food.  
  
Marsh: I'M TAKING THE FOOD!  
  
*****  
  
To be continued... 


End file.
